Godspeed, Dave. A Tribute to #36

 

We knew it was coming. We knew it made sense. Hell, at some point this year we’d probably loudly demanded it. But when it happened it still felt like a well-aimed stick handle in the ribs.

Dave Bolland was traded to the Leafs on Draft day and our lives are a little duller because of it.

Michael Frolik was traded too, and I think that, in a pure Hockey sense,  the loss of him will hurt the Hawks more than losing Bolland. But this is all about Dave, because, whatever else he was or wasn’t while wearing a Hawks jersey, he was nothing short of an inspiration when it came to making up jokes.

My first real attempt at writing a humourous Hockey piece was a FanPost on the old SCH about goal celebrations.. and Bolland was both the inspiration and the cornerstone of the entire bit.  It was just after a game against the Ducks, where having already had a goal waved off, Bolland scored on an absolute laserbeam and celebrated in true Dave Bolland-Style: a quick flip of his arms and then an angry death-stare. I pretty much constructed the rest of the piece around that.

It was well received, hell, even made its way into the Committed Indian. Which gave me the confidence to keep going (for good or ill).  I quickly discovered that including a “David Bolland Is A Psycho” joke was a sure-fire winner, as that meme had been running for quite a while and never got old.  I have an entire folder, in the deep recesses of the Amstrad CPC where I do my photoshops, that’s just called “Bolland”.

When the Trade happened I realised that I’d not done anything on Dave this year, which made me sad. His recent decline and near-invisibility contributed to that, I guess. Because he’s been exactly the same strange, wild-eyed, pale, sweating, monotone-voiced weirdo that he’s always been in interviews. That shaved-head look was horrible (and therefore fitting). The F-Bomb dropped on CBC. And last, but by no means least, the celebration after scoring the Cup-Winning Goal: a classic “Shake off your gloves and look very angry”.

Good luck, Dave. I hope you have fun in Toronto. With you gone and Kaner behaving himself, looks like I’m going to have to find another source of cheap laughs.

And, to end on a Hockey note, this is one of my favourite Blackhawks memories, as Bolland returned from injury with the Hawks staring down the barrel against Vancouver.

 

So long, David Bolland. We’ll not see your like again unless we work on Psych Profiling for the FBI.

 

 

CupWin

Thank You, Blackhawks

CupWin

Bartl, fiance Nichole and Pops following the Game 6 victory… between many rounds of beers.

“Now break their hearts. Score again, and break their fucking hearts.”

I wasn’t deep into celebrating Bryan Bickell’s tying goal with 1 minute, 16 seconds remaining, when my father uttered those words with such conviction that I actually became frightened. He clapped a few times, raised his hands, then went right back into business mode.

“Do it again and break their fucking hearts.”

See, my dad isn’t one to offer up such passion when it comes to sports. He knew his only son’s sanity rode on the outcome of the Stanley Cup Final, and that’s really the only reason he came to peace with his inevitable hangover and joined me at a local establishment.

It’s also the only reason he cared at all. The Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup doesn’t enhance his life any, but it brings such joy to his kid that his enthusiasm shot past obligation and into a genuine state of jubilation. He just couldn’t help himself.

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CT hawks-bruins55.JPG

I Love This Team: Your 2013 Stanley Cup Champions, the Chicago Blackhawks

CT hawks-bruins55.JPG

You’re not going to get much more than this from me tonight. I’m celebrating until my body won’t let me celebrate anymore.

It’s almost fitting Dave Bolland,  who we have ragged on time and time again, scored the goal that would give the Blackhawks a 3-2 win and the team’s second Cup in four seasons.

It marked the perfect moment for a team that seemed to have a mantra of, “Don’t quit on us. We won’t let you down.” We were all guilty of quitting on this team at one point or another, and they all put their middle fingers in the air and proved that they weren’t going to give up on themselves, no matter what we thought.

You’ll get more details from us tomorrow, but enjoy this for now. How amazing is this?

Mostly, I’m so proud to share this site with Nakis, Adam and Mighty Mike, who have been instrumental in helping provide you readers with great insight. They’ve been even better “internet friends.” What  a season, and you’ll be hearing from us plenty over the next couple of months as the offseason is right around the corner.

I’m still trying to soak this all in. Unbelievable.

GO ‘HAWKS!

 

 

The Wine Cooler: Episode 7 – One. More. Win

Wine Cooler

The Blackhawks head into Game 6 with a chance to hoist the Stanley Cup for the second time in four seasons. That would be a nice middle finger to the Massholes that have deemed Boston, “Championship City.”

Bartl and Nakis discuss that, the injuries to Patrice Bergeron and Jonathan Toews, the Chara Effect – or non-effect – and how Corey Crawford is a world-class goaltender and meatheads just need to accept that because DAT EMERY GUY AINT GONE PLAY NO MOOR AND DATS JUS DA END OF DA CONVERSATION, MY FRENTS!

We pack a nice show into the 30 minutes BlogTalkRadio allots us free of charge. Enjoy.

Listen to internet radio with The Wine Cooler on BlogTalkRadio

One. Bruins 1 Hawks 3 (series 3-2 Hawks)

 

Here we are then.

This crazed head-rush of a season has finally brought us to the very threshold of the Promised Land. The Chicago Blackhawks are 60 minutes away from fulfilling all the promise and wiping away the pains of the last three years.

 

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No More “Sorry” : Hawks/Bruins preview

 

My Dear Friends, we are about to enter the part of the Season known as “Nut-Cutting-Time”. I hope you’re ready.

Tonight the Hawks host the Bruins at the UC, Home Ice advantage restored for a best-of-three. But tonight is also the last night where there is any “We’ll get ‘em next time, gang”  for the team that loses. It’s going to be Elimination/Total Victory game(s) after this. There will be a Game 6, for sure, and I stick by my original prediction that this series goes the distance. But we’ll cross that Bridge of Pain as and when we come to it.

It’s trite to say a non-elimination game is a “Must-Win” in the Playoffs, because every game is a “Must-Win”. The Hawks have stared down three straight against the Wings already this post-season. But I’m going to call this one of those games. I’m an eternal optimist and believe that this Hawks team can beat anyone, anywhere, anytime. However, if we head back to Boston on the wrong end of a 3-2 series.. well, I fear the worst.  I want Boston desperate, afraid and knowing that their season hangs in the balance at TD Gardens. This series has been so ridiculously tight, with such tiny margins between victory and defeat, that every odd bounce of the puck or speculative shot from a 4th Liner assumes massive importance. And I would much rather have the Bruins worrying about that in Game 6, knowing that the very best they can hope for is having to win in an insanely pumped up UC in Game 7.. against a Hawks team that has the chance to be the first to win a Cup on Chicago ice since 1938.

Rather them than me.

Tonight, the Hawks need to remember that Speed Kills, that Chara has a turning circle similar to the USS Eisenhower and that depth scoring is going to make the difference. Crow must blank all the Narrative BS (and he will). Q needs to roll those lines that devastated an entire league this year.

If that happens, then it’ll be the Bruins fans nervously stocking up on Depends, Monday Night.

So, all of this is a rather roundabout way of saying “Let’s Go, Hawks”

Get it done, gentlemen.

Blackhawks 6 – Bruins 5 (OT): Break Point

Up and down points to Blackhawks
(NHL.com credit Bruce Bennett)

The outcomes of this game after regulation could not have been more different from a Chicago perspective.

In 60 minutes, the Blackhawks scored five goals against the Boston Bruins vaunted defence. Only one of which came at an advantage (with Handzus’ at a disadvantage). They controlled possession for roughly 65% of the regulation time. They even scored a powerplay goal to give a shot in the arm to a unit that couldn’t find the opposing blue line to save its life. At the end of that regulation, the game was tied.

If Chicago loses this game, a three game uphill climb required sherpas that not even the deep pockets of Wirtz Beverage Co. can afford.

Instead, we’re looking at a best of three series with the Blackhawks holding home ice advantage.  There’s a lot to look at here, but let’s just soak in some highlights and glances because we’ve got two days to prepare for a tilt at the UC that is going to put one team a victory from hoisting the chalice.

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(Nuccio DiNuzzo, Chicago Tribune)

Beantown Beating: Blackhawks Shut Out in Game 3 as Bruins Take 2-1 Lead in Stanley Cup Final

(Nuccio DiNuzzo, Chicago Tribune)

(Nuccio DiNuzzo, Chicago Tribune)

This one didn’t go the Blackhawks’ way from the very beginning.

Marian Hossa was scratched at the last moment in favor of Ben Smith, who probably had half of a hot dog down in the press box before being summoned to the dressing room, and things didn’t get any better from there as the ‘Hawks fell 2-0 at TD Garden in Monday’s Game 3.

Zdeno Chara apparently received stitches after cracking his head on the ice in the pregame warmps and still played, so that’s a little bothersome. Either way, Hoss wasn’t out there and the bad news kept coming. Daniel Paille scored just over two minutes into the second period, then Patrice Bergeron added another later in the period to give the Bruins all they would need.

I don’t believe in calling any game a must-win until the other team has reached three victories, but let’s just say Wednesday is a “win-or-they’re-up-shit’s-creek-without-paddle” game.

Let’s see what we’ve got here…

♦   We’ve heard all of the DEY NEED TO DECLINE DA PENALTIES! DEY CAN DO DAT LIKE IN DA FOOZBALL GAME, RIGHT?!” jokes, but we’re at the point where the Blackhawks might be at more of a disadvantage when up a man. Credit is due to the Bruins’ aggressive and often relentless penalty kill, but let’s get serious here; a team that is built on speed and finesse continues to stand around while completely wasting two minutes of everyone’s time.

One specific example came when Patrick Kane held the puck around the boards and drifted high rather than pass the puck into an area down low that would force the Bruins to shift and potentially open up more ice – or even put himself in better position to find a lane and put the puck on net. He skated it toward the blue line, telegraphed a soft saucer pass everyone knew was coming, and the puck ended up out of the zone. These types of decisions have led to multiple shorthanded chances for the Bruins, especially Brad Marchand. The Blackhawks are basically killing Boston’s penalties for it.

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Bumdrizzle. Bruins 2-Hawks 1 (Series 1-1)

 

This is going to be short and less-than-sweet. Because it’s Father’s Day or something.

Exhilarating Hockey, played at a breakneck pace and showing total domination from a fearless Hawks team. Possibly the best they’ve played this year. True Championship-Quality, right there. Then the 2nd Period started.

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HELLSPAWN

I, Too, Love Shin Pads: Day-After Thoughts from Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final

(Brian Cassella, Chicago Tribune)

(Brian Cassella, Chicago Tribune)

Thank you, Andrew Shaw, for making your winning goal that much more entertaining.

And, thanks to Adam, we may have a new nickname for him:

HELLSPAWN

After Shaw deflected a Dave Bolland deflection off a Michal Rozsival shot (got that?), he professed his love for Bolland, thanked his shin pads and then dropped an F-bomb in his NBC interview with Pierre McGuire, sending the United Center crowd – including this exhausted individual – home happy.

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final, which eventually ended with the Blackhawks beating Boston 4-3, proved at least one thing: We’re being treated to a Final featuring two extremely good teams that didn’t need luck to get there. There were points I battled through the stress of what was happening to realize I should be excited just to be witnessing such great hockey featuring a team I support. Then, of course, I went back to biting my fingers off.

Aside from Shaw’s goal that brought more relief than anything, there’s a few other things I’ll take from this one heading into Game 2…

♦   Corey Crawford and Tuukka Rask both played outstanding games, but I’m going to focus more on Crawford, mainly because Rask essentially pointed out the deficiencies in front of him rather than accepting the loss as a team. I think there’s little doubt that, unless the Blackhawks win the other three games 10-9, Crawford will be adding a Conn Smythe to his resume should Chicago hoist the Cup. The numbers look like this: 13-5, 1.73 GAA, numerous huge saves.

Crawford came up big while helping the ‘Hawks kill off a too-many-men penalty in both the first and second overtimes. Sure, the Bruins beat him and drew iron a couple times, but Crow made the saves he needed to and even added some flare to a couple, especially that snagging glove save early in the game. The Blackhawks’ defense definitely wasn’t at its best Wednesday, and Crawford helped make up for it.

♦   On that note, I’d personally like to thank Kaspars Daugavins for whiffing on his OT chance with Crawford basically down and out after fending off another chance.

♦   This, also courtesy of Adam, of Marian Hossa in the second OT:

Photo: Marian Hossa during the 2nd OT last night. May be the only time it's ever applicable to cite Ken Harrelson's TWTW stat.

♦   Not only did Shaw score the winner, but Bolland’s goal that cut the Boston lead to 3-2 in the third was all him. Torey Krug, the rookie defenseman out of Michigan State who has been playing fantastically thus far in the playoffs, attempted to fire the puck to the middle of the ice, only to Shaw, who carried back into the zone. Krug then glided along side Shaw with his stick on the ice attempting to block a potential pass, but Shaw saucered it beautifully across to Bolland, who one-timed it past Rask.

♦   Bolland also got credited with an assist on the game-winner. To add some perspective into the rarity of a two-point night from Bolland, he totaled three points in his previous 25 games combined, including the playoffs.

♦   I feel like Hossa should just repeatedly say, “Fuck off Fuck off Fuck off Fuck off Fuck off Fuck off” whenever an opponent tries to take the puck from him. The man is a beast.

♦   I’ve read a few places about the Blackhawks being a step behind and the Bruins carrying the play for long stretches, but I think the same can be said by flipping those team names. I understand the Blackhawks had to overcome a pair of two-goal leads, but the ‘Hawks were a +51 in CORSI, and weren’t the only ones looking exhausted in the overtime sessions. Boston being up on the scoreboard through the first two and a half periods wasn’t necessarily indicative of the ice being tilted. The Bruins got two snipes from Lucic and a power-play goal on another snipe from Bergeron. They took advantage of some good chances in regulation. The Blackhawks had just as many chances as the Bruins they didn’t convert. That was a pretty damn good hockey game on both ends, but both teams have things to improve heading into Game 2.

♦  It will be interesting to see how severe the Nathan Horton injury is and how much it will affect Boston if he misses time. It appears to be a shoulder issue, which may spell bad news for the Bruins. Horton had an assist to give him 18 points for the playoffs, and he has been a huge contributor with Lucic and Krejci on the top line. He’s listed as day to day right now, but there are reports saying he could be done. If Horton is out, it will be interesting to see how Julien mixes his lines moving forward.

♦   So, the Blackhawks won with Brandon Bollig taking Viktor Stalberg’s place in the lineup. Still don’t necessarily agree with the move, but, as Nakis found out and then posted to Twitter, it seemed like Stalberg had fallen into acceptance with Q’s decision by Tuesday afternoon. We’ll see what Q rolls out at the next practice.

♦  As anticipated, the Blackhawks didn’t practice Thursday due to the 239572305-minute game Wednesday. And Hossa wasn’t exactly pleased that his neighbors decided to do some work ass early in the morning.

There’s so much we could go over, but I’ll leave the rest to you if you’d like to add more discussion in the comments. See you Saturday.