Got Fuel To Burn, Got Roads To Drive : Blackhawks 5 – Oilers 1

Before we start, take a look at this hilarious video (courtesy of our pal @LevNaginsky ) of Corey Crawford being, uh……hilarious. Corey Crawford is now providing you quality goaltending and zany physical comedy. What a guy.

We will now proceed with your regular wrap:

Things went exceeding well tonight for the Blackhawks despite Joel Quenneville selecting the second, third, and fourth lines by picking names out of a hat and Iron Man Corey Crawford dressing for the fifteenth consecutive fucking game. The Hawks jumped all over the Oilers right off the bat and didn’t take their foot off the neck of the Oilers until they were up by four goals. This game felt out of reach for the Oilers only halfway through the first period when Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane struck within three minutes of each other to give the Hawks an early lead. They would go on to dominate the rest of the period and could have led by even more had Devan Dubynk not made several big saves.

More >

q death done

The Big Foist: Hawks @ Oilers Preview

playin' Checkers on a Chessboard

From the Genius that brought us “John Scott as Power Play Forward” and “Daniel Carcillo On The 2nd Line“, Joel “Stache” Quenneville is proud to present “Michal Handzus: Winger“. I think he’s doing it on purpose at this stage, just to annoy.

More >

Anxious Mo-Fo: Hawks 2 Canucks 1

DAT CRAWSTINK CANT STEAL NO GAMES MY FRENT!

Chances are, if you spend any time hanging out where the Meatballs be at, you’ve heard this or something similar. This was a common theme even before Crawford’s new contract further fanned the flames of ill-informed fautuousness (Alliteration is fun!)

More >

Love Dance: Hawks @ Canucks Preview

Hope you enjoyed that moment while it lasted, Ryan.

 

Remember these guys? You could be forgiven if they’d slipped your mind of late. Despite fighting out some of the bitterest Playoff Series of the last five years and usually managing to pack plenty of incident into their Regular Season games, the Hawks and Canucks only played three times last year. They split a pair of SO victories and a Hawks team sleepwalking to the Presidents Trophy had one of their rare off-nights, dropping a 3-1 decision in British Columbia. The Nucks were then swept out of the first round while the Hawks.. well, we know what they got up to in the Post-Season.

More >

StanBo Knows : Versteeg Again A Blackhawk

Mike Devine comes to town and Kris Versteeg becomes a Blackhawk again. Coincidence? I think not…..

The Blackhawks won a hockey game tonight, but nobody is going to give a shit about that in the morning. Following the 5-4 shootout victory, it was announced that the Blackhawks and Panthers had agreed to a trade that will bring former Blackhawk Kris Versteeg back to Chicago in exchange for former 1st round pick Dylan Olsen and the sizable but awkward Jimmy Hayes. It was also announced that the Blackhawks would send winger Jeremy Morin back to Rockford. That move shouldn’t surprise anyone as it has become apparent that Joel Quenneville was in the process of making Morin his own personal “Where’s Waldo.”

Nobody saw this coming. Versteeg, who jumped around the top three lines during his first stint with the Hawks, will likely slots in on the third line with Andrew Shaw and Bryan Bickell. One would imagine he’ll get a chance to play on both the PP and PK as well. If nothing else, the days of Sheldon Brookbank skating on the third line are over. Shaw and Bickell may not be Bolland and Havlat, but they aren’t anything to sneeze at either. Make not mistake, the third line just became a lot more formidable.

The best part of this whole goddamn thing? The Florida Panthers have retained half of his salary through the 2015-2016 season. Stan Bowman is the goddamn best.

Dylan Olsen still has upside and maybe Jimmy Hayes flourishes in the right situation. But right now, it looks like Bowman acquired a proven NHL forward for a winger who didn’t quite fit and a defenseman whose momentum within the organization seems to have stalled after appearing in 28 games during the 2011-2012 regular season. Good luck to both of them. Oh, Stanbo might want to check for any foul odors emanating from any stairwells in his home over the next week or so……

You’d have to be one hell of a miserable bastard not to feel good right now. Sweet dreams, Hawks fans.

Two Beads At the End: Jets 1 Hawks 4 Choads 2

There’s an English soccer chant that goes something along the lines of “CAN WE PLAY YOU EVERY WEEK?”. That’s how I feel about the Winnipeg Jets. They’re bad. Bad with a capital “Beej”. Four more games as hopelessly mismatched as this would be just dandy, thanks (he said, dooming the Hawks to lose the rest of the series)  I’ve got some grousing to do, so I’ll get through what was a fun, if forgettable, game as quickly as I can.

 

  • Brookbank at forward. It’s dumb. Q has his reasons (Brookbank deserves to stay in the side but Roszie needs the rotation) but they make sense only to Q.. if you’re playing a guy for 8.14 minutes (and more than half of that in the 3rd when the game was safe) and in an unfamilar position, it’s really doing nobody any good (for the record, Brookbank played 0.47 in the 1st and 2.45 in the 2nd). This may be a one-off, if so fine. If not…
  • Patrick Sharp looked to be having “One of those evenings”, drawing iron twice, before another handsome goal from close range. His linemates, Toews & Hossa, were operating at a level so far above Winnipeg that they were on the other side of the Pole.
  • Patrick Kane is very, very good at stickhandling. you heard it here 1,254,821st
  • “Big Buff” as Foley dribblingly called him all night, did a very good impression of an extremely large headless chicken.
  • Seriously, can we play the Jets every week? Please?
  • OK, to the angry bit. Yes, it’s the Pardy-Through-the Looking-Glass incident. You’ve all seen it and read about it, I won’t dwell overmuch on the utterly disgraceful lack of respect shown by the couple who grabbed the helmet and dumped the beer. What appalled me was the blatant disregard for Pardy’s safety: here we have a player who has just gone head-first into and through the glass at high speed, so clearly the thing to do is to yank his helmet off his head as hard as you can, because there’s no way that he might have already suffered a serious neck or head injury. For that alone I hope that the guy gets a lifetime ban from the UC. In the UK or Australia he would have been arrested for such conduct.
  • The other angry bit, from the same incident, also touches on Player Safety: even while Pardy was draped over the boards with fans and players trying to hold the giant sheet of glass away from his head, his teammates, particularly Anthony Peluso, decided that now was the time to jump Brandon Bollig.  Aside from being yet another example of the asinine trend of players trying to fight after hard but legal hits, this was ridiculous. I hope Claude Noel or someone else in the Jets org has taken the time to sit him down and talk to him about ‘Timing’.

OK, so much for that. It’s off to Dallas on Saturday. Peace.

Nature Without Man: Flames 3 Hawks 2 (OT)

I think we all saw this coming. There were gleeful prognostications on Twitter all day about what sort of firestorm was going to come down on Reto Berra in his very first NHL start.

Making his debut against the Hawks? Wow, that poor kid was going to get shelled, broken and possibly sent scurrying back to the AHL.

Well, he got shelled all right: 44 shots, the Hawks highest total this year. However, he stopped 42 of them, was the 1st Star of the game and is doubtless feeling very good about himself this morning.  So it goes.

This was a tedious and ultimately forgettable game and not something to get worked up about: dropping a point to Calgary in November is unlikely to come back to haunt us in the Spring (right?). After a 18 shot but no result 1st for the Hawks, Patrick Kane got it started in the 2nd with a nice wrister and we anticipated the floodgates opening. However, Mike Calamari tied it up; tipping in a shot from Wideman then, in the 3rd, Calgary took the lead via Curtis Glencross. Marian Hossa continued his nice recent run of form; finally scoring in the dying seconds of a PP after the Hawks had squanderd a minute and a half of 5 on 3 time.

To OT and a Kris Russell slapshot ended things.

It pinches to lose to dumpster fires like the Flames, but these things happen. What else we got?

Oh yes, TOI.  Jeremy Morin got 7.21. Smith, Pirri and Bollig between 10-11 minutes. Meanwhile Toews, Kane, Sharp and Hossa were all over 20 minutes. I wish I knew what Q is thinking. Three of those four are Olympic locks and, well, you know the rest. I guess its “First World Problems” if that’s the biggest issue; but the sudden sidelining, due to bits falling off them, of one or more of those guys for any long period of time could have serious consequences.

In Q’s favour, the D was more balanced with only Leddy (19.51) and Brookbank (16.54) not breaking the 20 minute mark.

It’s the Jets up next on Wednesday. As good an opportunity as any to wipe last night from the memory.

 

Blackhawks-Jets Recap : Winnipeg Fans Still Boooing

Yesterday afternoon 15,004 booing idiots in Winnipeg got an idea of what they can expect for the next decade from their toughest opponent and newest rivals from #CONFERENCEIII and they likely left the arena with a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. It can’t be comforting to know that the Jets have to face this Blackhawks team six times a year for the foreseeable future. Oh well.

The Blackhawks came out looking rusty after a three day layoff and the Jets actually led this game for a five minute span after Tobias Enstrom opened the scoring with help from a nifty screen by former Blackhawk Michael Frolik. Corey Crawford protested that Frolik interfered with him – but the officials decided the goal would stand after a short discussion. It didn’t really matter though, because Niklas Hjalmarsson tied the game just a few minutes later with a heavy one-timer after Marcus Kruger’s first career face-off victory. The game was tied at one when the first period ended.

Any fears that the Hawks would have a fight on their hands during the first of the back-to-back dissipated when Brandon Bollig, Patrick Sharp and Nick Leddy struck three times in the opening six mintues of the second period. Ondrej Pavelec was pulled and the Jets really never mounted any serious rally. To be blunt, the final thirty five minutes of the game were boring as hell with the exception of a missed Patrick Kane penalty shot.

Ben Smith tallied the lone goal in the lifeless third period which was played only because the rules said it had to be.

All things considered, we’ll take the 5-1 beating.

STARZ TIME! LISTEN UP:

* Nobody has been more dismissive of Bollig over the last year or so than I. That being said, I’d be not to tip my hat to him today. Bollig had the first multiple point game of his career and the wrist shot he unleashed on his goal was spectacular. Over the past few weeks, Joel Quenneville has trusted Bollig on the PK and notably gave him his regular shift with under two minutes to go in the Ottawa game on Tuesday night. Bollig’s carved out a spot for himself on this roster.

* Speaking of Q, earlier this week he was gushing about how well he thought Jeremy Morin had been playing. So why did Morin only get two shifts duirng the first period? Did I miss something in the Ottawa game on Tuesday night? Regardless, Morin got out of the doghouse a bit in the final two periods and didn’t look out of place at all. I don’t get it.

* If you were listening to Pat Foley call Sharp’s breakaway goal you’d think Sharp merely slipped the puck in to an empty net. If you saw the play, you’d know Sharp turned Ondrej Pavelec inside out to create that empty net. Absolutely disgusting move by Sharp. Don’t get me wrong, I love Foley – but he didn’t have his best stuff yesturday.

* I’ll take Nick Leddy teeing up bombs from left point all the live-long fuckin’ day. Keep ‘em coming.

* Crawford settled down and played a real strong game after getting theatrical with the official following the first Winnipeg goal. I didn’t think Frolik interfered with him. Whatever.

* Kane very nearly claimed the shiny new donkey offered by Mr. Burns as a reward for the head of Colonel Montoya. Damn crossbar.

* Jets fans didn’t endear themselves at all today to Chicago hockey fans. They booed Patrick Kane. They booed Corey Crawford. They booed Corey Crawford when he was hurt. They booed Jonathan Toews. By the end of the game, you guessed it, they were booing the Jets. Odd bunch up there in Winnipeg.

* Really sit back and enjoy the Calgary game this evening because you know the Bears/Packers game tomorrow night is going to be like pulling teeth. Ugh.

Khabbi

The Khabbi: a Halloween Special

Khabbi

I was supposed to recap the Hawks/Sens game but real life got in the way. However, the main talking point has been the performance (or lack of same) of a certain bibulous backup. Such ineptitude can really only be expressed through the medium of verse and, considering its Halloween and all… I give you

More >

One Reporter’s Opinion: Sens @ Hawks Preview

Damn You, Chris Neil, if you’ve messed up that face..

Those of you who play Fantasy Hockey may be familiar with this feeling: when a player that you have high, high hopes of, a player that’s slipped under other’s radar, falls to you in the Draft and you rub your hands with glee; thinking about how smart you are, about how your secret weapon is going to propel you to glory and then… pfffft… not a disaster but nothing special either.  Know that feeling? Do I?

More >