Detroit Red Wings
Let It Begin: Dead Things Bring Their Putrid Stench To United Center
Dec 30th
Alas, gone are the days when we can joke about Detroit (*spitting noise*) being better suited for catheters than jock straps. No doubt embarrassed by the constant jokes about Depends undergarments and tapioca pudding, tonight the Red Wings will dress only three players age 35 or older: felon Todd Bertuzzi, AARP spokesperson Nicklas Lidstrom, and backup bingo-caller Ty Conklin.
That’s probably for the better: I was running out of senior citizen jokes. And yes, Tomas Holmstrom falls into that category as well, but he fell and broke his hip while going to get his dentures re-fitted. Or something. Anyhow, he isn’t playing tonight.
Old Time Hockey Returns : Blackhawks-Red Wings Rivalry Lives
Dec 7th
I know you were promised this yesterday, but life sometimes gets in the way. Anyway, by now you all know the NHL has approved a radical new realignment plan by a vote of 26-4, splitting the league into four conferences. The Blackhawks will play in a yet to be named conference with the Red Wings, Blues, Predators, Jets, Wild, Stars and Blue Jackets. The reaction around the league has been mostly positive and the league did a good job to accommodate the needs of most of the parties involved.
For Blackhawks fans, the worst case scenario of being stuck in a godforsaken division with St. Louis-Nashville-Columbus and Minnesota was averted and the rivalry with the Detroit stays intact. The NHL already stole the Minnesota North Stars and Toronto Maple Leafs from the Hawks – taking Detroit and leaving us with Columbus and Winnipeg would have been cruel and unusual.
Divisional Re-Alignment: Believe It, Then Kill It
Jul 13th
I got into a brief Twitter-spat on Tuesday with blogger colleague Tab Bamford from Committed Indians regarding the rumored re-alignment in the NHL. The proposed plan would move Detroit (*spitting noise*) to the Eastern Conference, ripping apart the Blackhawks/Red Wings rivalry. His contention is that this is no time for alarm. I couldn’t disagree more. His post later that day provided an opportunity for a more lengthy retort, which you are now reading.
Tab’s nothing-to-see-here-people argument is four-fold. First, that the story itself has no merit, having been broken by an unreliable source. Second, that the rumored re-alignment assumes the Coyotes stay in Phoenix, rendering it unbelievable on its face. Third, that the league has too much respect for history and tradition, and would never disassemble a rivalry as old and storied as the Blackhawks/Red Wings. And fourth, that it doesn’t make sense from a financial perspective.
Buckle up, people…







