Chicago Blackhawks

Just a picture of my bear ass

Free Agency Day 3: Nap Time!

I’ll give it to you straight: the Blackhawks did a whole lot of NUFFIN’ on Tuesday, and with Wednesday being 4th of July, expect a complete black hole of free-agent signings until Thursday at the earliest.

Blackhawks’ rumored free agent target Zach Parise was interviewed by the Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Michael Russo while getting off a plane at the airport in the Twin Cities, and Parise indicated that he and his fiancee were going to hammer out a decision face to face. No timetable was given for making that decision, and then he vanished.

The other major free agent that the Blackhawks don’t appear to be involved with, Ryan Suter, announced that he would not be making a decision today.

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Photo: AP

Dashed Hopes: Blackhawks Get No Love From New Jersey

Photo: AP

The Chicago Blackhawks’ activity level on Day 2 of free agency was even more depressing than it was on Day 1, if you can believe that. Not one signing was announced, one possible target signed elsewhere, and another perpetrated the troll of the summer on the hockey media and those following along via the Twitterscape.

And unfortunately, none of the big names did anything either, further clogging the pipes in the already stopped up basement toilet that is the 2012 free agent signing period.

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Photo: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Bait & Switch: Blackhawks Nearly Silent on Free Agency Day 1

Photo: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

The first day of NHL free agency is like Christmas for fans of any team. Last year, Blackhawks GM Stan Bowman was very active right out of the gate, gift wrapping several key role players within the first 3 hours. That flurry of activity gave Blackhawks fans hope for a pony under the tree on July 1st, 2012; but instead fans will have to settle for a hamster.

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Blackhawks Add 8 During Eventful NHL Entry Draft

Photo: ESPN

There were teams holding multiple first-round picks, teams looking to move disgruntled stars, teams looking to shed salary, and teams looking to improve their draft position. The 2012 NHL Entry Draft had all the makings of a first-round free-for-all — and for once, it did not disappoint!

Even before the first 10 picks were in the books, there were players and picks flying all over the room. Jordan Staal sent to Carolina for Brandon Sutter and the Hurricanes’ 1st round pick; Lubomir Visnovsky traded from the Ducks to the Islanders; Mike Ribiero went from Dallas to Washington.

And Blackhawks General Manager Stan Bowman was smack dab in the middle of all the action…

Observing quietly.

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Shooting Skeet While Blindfolded: Who Will Blackhawks Pick First?

One concussion, one car accident, one too many moguls, one too many beers, one of any number of things can deep-six your carefully-chosen and highly-coveted first round selection in the NHL draft. In some ways, the pick has more value before it turns into a living, breathing human being: because once it is, you’re stuck with it — and whatever happens to it.

So in some ways, your first round pick is kind of like shooting skeet while blindfolded. You do your best and prepare carefully, but in the end your success rate depends just as much on luck and fate as it does on anything else.

When presented in that light, maybe we’re taking this draft business a little too seriously. But let’s face it: most of us aren’t interested in seeing who the Blackhawks pick with their #18 selection; we’re hoping that some deal gets done during the draft that changes the ‘Hawks roster, or draft position, or both. So let’s explore some possibilities.

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End Of Season Reviews: Patrick Kane, Part II — Now Let’s Talk Hockey

Photo: MSN/FoxSports

Breaking down Patrick Kane’s season by looking at his end-of-year totals is impossible. All you see is the fact that his goals, assists, and points were all down against the last 2 years. The story of the boy’s season is much more intricate, and it all started last summer when a certain Blackhawks executive who shall remain nameless (but whose name rhymes with “Dan Showman”) decided to cover up his inability to obtain a second-line center, and in the process throw a wrench into Kane’s season.

In short, Kane was put in a position to fail, and I don’t hold him responsible for his statistical slump. It’s most demonstrably the fault of the guy who has never played a single minute of time in the NHL.

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End Of Season Reviews: Patrick Kane, Part I — Booze & Barter

Photo: ESPN

When the season ended, the five of us here at Cheer The Anthem held a “draft” of sorts, to determine who did which player’s evaluation. A couple of rounds went by and I saw that nobody had picked Patrick Kane yet. So I said, “Okay, sure, why not.”

That was late April.

Now, regretting that decision, I decided to separate this evaluation into two parts — to dispense with the off-ice shenanigans and trade discussion up front, then on Monday we’ll talk about how Kane plays hockey.

*     *     *     *     *

We’ve all seen the pictures and read the articles about Patrick Kane’s Cinco de Mayo visit to Madison, Wisconsin, so I’m not going to re-live the experience with you now. But from this we know three things: first, the kid is a binge drinker, if not an actual alcoholic; second, that this behavior has established itself as a pattern over the last 3 summers; and third, that he is to the point where he needs help. Arguing with these points is merely denying reality and making excuses for a kid who doesn’t need people to make excuses for him anymore.

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End of Season Reviews: Jimmy Hayes

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Part two of the dynamic duo called up in 2012 is Jimmy Hayes.  I had really high hopes for this kid this season, but his presence was merely a teaser of his future potential on the Blackhawks, as well as a potentially promising indication of what’s to come.

I have a soft-spot in my heart for the big guy.  For one thing, he’s American.  Secondly, he is 22 years old.  Lastly, and most importantly, Jimmy’s frame is built to bruise.  Standing 6’6″ tall and weighing in at over 220 lbs, Jimmy has the body to hit and hit hard.

Jimmy started the season strong, scoring 2 points in his first three professional games.  He netted 2 points in three different games for the Hawks.  Not bad for a kid playing just above 10:00 per game on the season.  Hayes started the season as a top line forward and netted 7 points in his first 10 NHL games.

Unfortunately, Hayes was a part of the player carousel that the Blackhawks had going this season, and it prevented him from developing any sort of offensive consistency, dropping in the depth chart towards the end of the season.

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End Of Season Reviews: Johnny Oduya

Photo: Bill Smith/Getty Images

The 2012 NHL trade deadline was awash in armchair quarterbacking, as is usually the case; but this year, nobody could agree on what the Blackhawks needed to add to the mix. There were advocates for replacing nearly every position on the ice, including misinformed Moneyball disciples treating players like futures contracts and suggesting that “Jonathan Toews‘ trade value has never been higher!”

Please, go launch a hostile takeover or something. Come at me with that nonsense, I’ll implant your graphing calculator in your pancreas — the fun way.

As it turns out, Blackhawks GM Stan Bowman showed his impotence, failing to acquire the 2nd-line center that fans and media pundits had been unanimously clamoring for since 2010. He also added another “Who?” on the blue line, and unpleasant memories of The Chris Campoli Incident flashed before our eyes. Thank goodness Johnny Oduya turned out to be a far better bet, though his first 20 minutes in a Blackhawks uniform didn’t help to ease our fears one bit…

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End Of Season Reviews: Michael Frolik

Ever seen them in the same room together?

We should have seen this coming. Specifically, we should have taken Florida Panthers’ fans seriously when they echoed our, “Ha-ha, you got Skille!” chants with, “Ha-ha, you got Frolik!” Apparently the scouts on both teams had mad cow disease when doing the assessments on these guys. Like just watching them play wasn’t enough to make them walk away for good.

But at least Florida regained its common sense in the off-season. Whereas Jack Skille got re-signed at $825K, our intrepid StanBow somehow thought Michael Frolik was worth nearly double his salary from the previous two years, and on a 3-year contract to boot. Once the ink dried on that deal, it was very obvious who got the better of this trade.

And then the 2011-12 season started…

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