Boxing 2010-11

The Storm Before the Calm: Boxing (again) with Blackhawks/Avs (12/15/10)

Here’s to hoping the big shit cloud hovering over the beginning of the week rolls out of town with the passing days.

Once again the Blackhawks urinated through another game, dropping their third to Colorado Big Falling Snow Pile 4-3 on Wednesday night. However, there are more positives that came out of tonight’s trail of stinky skid marks than from Monday’s.

The ‘Hawks outshot the Avs by a large amount — 38-23. Problem is,  Craig Anderson decided he wanted to stop damn near everything, unlike Monday.

While I’m damn pissed off about this loss, which dropped the ‘Hawks to 16-14-3 and into 10th place in the Western Conference, I’m not about to start robbing old ladies of their handbags. The ‘Hawks didn’t play a phenominal game, but they didn’t exactly leave road apples on the bed either.

The obvious turning point came on the phantom call assessed to  Jordan Hendry, who was simply battling for the puck when Daniel Winnick skated directly into his elbow. There was blood, and Hendry got four minutes in the box when he shouldn’t even gotten two.

Tomas Fleischmann then proceeded to score on both ensuing power plays with Hendry in the box, then added another later to complete his third-period hat trick. Tomas. Fucking. Fleischmann.

Corey Crawford did his best  Marty Turco impression tonight by flopping all over the crease and getting caught out of position. The Avs should’ve had another goal on an empty net with Crawford sprawled out, but  Brent Seabrook made a block to save his ass. I have a feeling, however, that the meatballs won’t be clamoring for Turco to start Friday because, well, Turco didn’t start the season as the backup. To get more on the goaltending shit, check out Fork’s little write-up.

Onto your latest edition of “Boxing.” Enjoy.

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Blizzard of ineptitude: Boxing with Blackhawks/Avalanche (12/13/10)

"Hey guys, thanks for this rubber disc I'm about to go put in the net now. You've all been so generous tonight." (Denver Post)

What an absolute horrendous loss to have to deal with. I would make the whole team walk home if it was up to me.

Four possible points and the ‘Hawks come away with one on a two-game trip, mostly because the defense couldn’t figure out how to do a goddamn thing in a dog-shit-eating 7-5 loss to Colorado. To make matters worse,  Craig Anderson was on fucking fire coming into the game, the ‘Hawks put five in against him, and then they still proceeded to lose.

Before I get to “Boxing,” I have some other thoughts.

I want to know why  Brent Seabrook and  Duncan Keith decided to do Jager shots before the game. Seabrook especially was so fucking bad that I can barely type this sentence without my fingers shaking. He seemed so mesmerized by the puck carrier that he completely lost men crashing the net. You’d need a calculator to count the number of Avalanche skaters open in the slot tonight. Pathetic.

There are some  Jack Skille fans out there, but I’m not one of them. Yes, he got a goal. But the Avs first goal is directly on him for not just chipping that puck out of the zone while deciding to fuck around with it. What’s more is that the guy just looks like he’s skating around the ice without a thought as to what his next move is going to be. Everything is reactionary, when sometimes you need to have a logical plan as to what is going to happen. He just seems too stupid to have that type of brain capacity.

If you said one word about  Marty Turco being a bad goalie because of tonight, you didn’t watch the game. Turco didn’t have a chance on those goals, and his defense left him hanging.  Denis Savard said in the studio after the game that it’s possible the Blackhawks were “holding their sticks tighter” hoping to get a win for Turco because he hasn’t played much. Whatever the case, the ‘Hawks played like hell in front of him. But, the meatballs are going to keep on him mainly because…

√   Corey Crawford played well replacing him. Crawford made some big saves and did play a better game than Turco did. He deserves each minute he’s getting right now, and you’re not going to hear me complain about Crawford continuing to start. However, Turco really isn’t playing horrible either. Rather than bitching about Turco and licking Crawford’s ball sweat, you should be happy the ‘Hawks have two very serviceable goaltenders who can each play when asked.

√   Paul Stastny’s goal was impressive, batting the puck ahead of him with his stick and putting it in the net. Give him credit despite the turnover the ‘Hawks made which helped lead to it.

All right, I’m gonna let “Boxing” do the rest.

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Boxing with ‘Hawks/Stars (12/8/10) and Crawford’s legit tirade on refs

Let’s get down to brass tax here — Dallas Stars coach  Marc Crawford laid into the refs following the game and had a very legit gripe. Whether or not  Brent Seabrook meant to throw his stick at the puck carrier makes no difference. It should have been a penalty shot for Dallas. I’m not even going to attempt to deny that.

Here’s Crawford’s postgame press conference:

While understandable for Crawford to go nuts, he may want to look deeper at his team, which fell behind 3-0 before deciding to play. Then it was too late. The Stars are lucky to have made the comeback in the first place. And I’m sure he’ll realize that once he looks at the tape and takes a step back from the heat of the moment.

Of course, I could say the same thing about the ‘Hawks giving up a goal-against immediately after going up 3-0, then giving up two goals in just over a minute to allow Dallas to make it interesting heading into the third period. The ‘Hawks have been notorious for placing the opposition’s collective mouth on the curb, then forgetting to stomp.

Everything else I have to say is done through “Boxing.” Click the images to enlarge and, as always, enjoy.

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Injury-riddled Boxing with Blackhawks/Flames (12/5/10)

Prognosis: Negative. (Chicago Tribune)

It’s pretty unfair to  Jonathan Toews to talk about  Patrick Kane’s injury right off the bat, seeing as Tazer put the Blackhawks on his back in their 4-2 win Sunday against the Calgary Flames.

However, the potential long-term absence of Kaner is pretty damning. With  Marian Hossa and  Fernando Pisani already out, losing another offensive weapon like Kane for a team already dressing  John Scott at forward could send the ‘Hawks up Shit’s Creek without a paddle.

Coach Q said he’ll be “out for a bit,” but that it’s “nothing very serious.” I’ve seen on Twitter some NHL media have heard 4-6 weeks. Did he sprain his ankle? Tweak his MCL? Hopefully by the time you read this, we’ll know.

Whether it’s a week, two weeks or more than a month, any time without Kane is going to be a detriment to the offense. Everyone is going to have to step up a notch, and hopefully  Dave Bolland keeps removing his head from his ass.  Patrick Sharp is already carrying more than his weight, but the ‘Hawks will need even more handsome firepower.

Toews showed right away what he means to this team, and you’re bat-shit insane if you don’t think he watched Kane go off the ice and said, “OK, time to beat some fucking ass.” The Blackhawks will need more of that mentality.

Corey Crawford pretty much solidified himself as the No. 1 with his sixth straight win. I know that  Marty Turco hasn’t been playing awful and has the heart of Mother Teresa, but he’ll have to sit and watch until the kid shits the bed.

On that note, here’s your Monday morning edition of “Boxing.” Click the images to enlarge and, as always, enjoy.

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Boxing with ‘Hawks/Blues (11/30/10)

All right, it’s really late so you’re not going to get any analysis from me tonight other than what’s in the “Boxing.” However, be sure to check out today’s Daily Esposito below this post to catch up on your former Blackhawks.

Click the images to enlarge and, as always, I hope you enjoy it.

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End of the Circus: Boxing with ‘Hawks/Ducks and ‘Hawks/Kings

Hey dude. You're, like, bleeding and stuff. (Chicago Tribune)

Well, Corey, it looks like it’s your show — for now.

A couple of very solid performances and an overall above-average season so far is good enough in my book to give  Corey Crawford the keys to the Blackhawks’ ride. McClure of Second City Hockey said it best:  Marty Turco is owed nothing here. He’s a hell of a guy, came here to win a ring and hasn’t played all that bad.

Crawford, a product of the ‘Hawks system who has paid his dues with the franchise, is playing to his capabilities and expectations. His 5-4-0 record may seem modest, but his GAA is a sparkling 2.07 in eight starts and nine total appearances. He made key saves in both games against Anaheim and Los Angeles and didn’t give up a single even-strength goal in either contest.

If Turco gets the start Tuesday, Coach Q should immediately have his head examined. There’s no reason not to go with Crawford.

With all of that said, let’s make this clear: There is no goalie controversy — yet. While Crawford has played well, he’s simply the guy who gives the Blackhawks the best chance to win right now. It’s too early to say he’s the one who gives the ‘Hawks the best chance to win for the rest of the season. Turco still holds that title, in my opinion. It’s not to say that can’t change, but Crawford has to do it for an extended period of time — like Antti Niemi did last season.

If Crawford gets his starts and continues to show he’s the right guy for the No. 1 job, the worst thing that happens is the ‘Hawks have a damn good veteran backup in Turco. That’s a good position to be in, especially given the  Cristobal Huet situation in which we thought Dr. Phil would have to intervene.

So, with that being said, I’ll let “Boxing” do the rest of the talking from the weekend. First is the ‘Hawks 2-1 win against the Kings, followed by Friday’s 4-1 victory against the Gordon Bombays.

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Thanksgiving Boxing with Blackhawks/Sharks, 11/24/10

What. Do I got a boogy hangin'? (Associated Press)

Well, not much to be thankful for after that shit. I’d have rather eaten my roommate’s toe jam.

I know this may sound vague, but that game was just bad to watch. At no point did I feel confident about a ‘Hawks victory. And if any of you clowns start talking about  Antti Niemi and how the Blackhawks got a first-hand glimpse of why we miss him, I may hang myself with dental floss.

Granted, he played well. However, a few other goalies who haven’t been in net when the ‘Hawks won the Stanley Cup have also played well against us this season. So, let’s move on from that.

It’s quite clear  Nick Boynton needs to remove his penis from  Jen Patterson long enough to play some serviceable hockey. What has  Jordan Hendry done to be in QStache’s dog house? Why does he continue to troll Boynton and  Jassen Cullimore on the ice when Hendry hasn’t done to warrant the constant healthy scratches? It’s starting to become mind-boggling.

More dipshit penalties, such as  Bryan Bickell’s absolute comeback killer with a holding-the-stick call, then a follow-up unsportsmanlike conduct for a double minor which is the clear result of him being a fucking whining bitch. Sit in the box and shut the fuck up. You already did something stupid, don’t do more stupid stuff.

The best thing was  Patrick Sharp’s awesome deflection past Niemi. Good to see him back in the groove with three goals in four games. Neato stuff there.

Marian Hossa got another assist, giving him four in two games. However, he’s scored one goal in 12 games. That needs to end soon.

Oh, and did the ‘Hawks leave  Patrick Kane in Vegas to pick up hookers and drink his own piss hoping to drink the same 39 beers twice? It would be nice to see some consistency. Games like his 1 G, 2 A performance against Vancouver are too few and far between. Kane has 22 points, which is one off Sharp’s pace, but imagine if he played every single game like he played last season when he was trying to overcome the “20 Cent” label. Christ Almighty.

I have some more stuff in a Turkey Day edition of “Boxing.” Sorry again for the delay in these, and thanks to those who enjoy it so much to send messages telling me how much you love it. As Tim said yesterday, sometimes life gets in the way. You’re alive and reading it now, so you’ll be fine.

Click on the images to enlarge. See you again Friday for Gordan Bombay Appreciation Night.

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Nothin’ tricky about it: Boxing with Blackhawks/Oilers, 11/18/10

"Um, Marty? Why are you poking me with your stick?" (Reuters)

Finally, the roles were back in order. It took two shit-bomb performances against the Edmonton Oilers, but the Blackhawks took two points from those pesky fucks and won their first game on the Circus Trip in convincing 5-0 fashion. Boom.

Jonathan Toews played like he was out to lead by example, rather than tell the media what the ‘Hawks need to do to get this season turned around. His hat trick did all the talking, and Tazer’s constant push toward the net should be a lesson to the rest of the ‘Hawks.

Toews,  Patrick Kane and Viktor Stalberg looked like badasses and played a huge role in a 20-4 SOG advantage after the first period. Toews’ third goal was a snipe from the slot, which was something rarely seen out of Toews so far this season. He’s had his chances, but even in that split second from when the puck hit his tape on pass from Kaner to the missile he put into the twine, you could just tell he had the look that said, “This fucking thing is going to the back of the net, and there ain’t shit Khabby can do about it.” And he was right.

Congrats to  Marty Turco on his first shutout in the Indian-head sweater. The Oilers played like the pile of shit they are tonight — finally — and posed no real threat to Turco.

Oh, and  Patrick Sharp is a very handsome man. Beautiful shorty move on Khabby to break his eight-game scoreless drought.

It’s late and I’m tired, so here’s your latest edition of “Boxing.”

As always, there’s two separate images — one for the game summary, and one for the actual box score. Click on the images to enlarge.

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Removing the elephant from the room: ‘Hawks hit Circus Trip on high note

NOTE: Boxing with ‘Hawks/Not-so-Mighty Ducks is below

"We won! Yay! This is fun! Maybe we should do it more often!" (Chicago Tribune)

The not-so-hidden mishaps didn’t completely vanish with this victory, but the home losing streak sure did. Take it when you can.

Duncan Keith is still drunk, the ‘Hawks gave up yet another goal within a minute of scoring their own and Tomas Kopecky did his best  Nick Boynton impression by taking a horrible penalty in the final minute of a tight game. Some things don’t change.

Thankfully, the result was more pleasant after  Viktor Stalberg redirected a Keith shot in overtime to give the ‘Hawks a 3-2 victory against the Anaheim Ducks — their first win at home in five games.

I’m going to admit this right off the bat: When Kopecky went to the box, I figured the game was as good as over. Even if the ‘Hawks killed the remaining 53 seconds of the third — which I wasn’t confident about — no way were they going to kill the 4-on-3 to start overtime. I was just hoping to come away with two points for the weekend after the shootout loss to Nashville on Friday night.

Needless to say, I’m happy I was wrong.

Marian Hossa and  Patrick Kane had a goal and an assist each, and it was a welcome sight to see those two on the scoresheet. Especially Hossa. Kid hadn’t scored in his last seven games.

I’m still having trouble getting over Keith’s turnover which led to  Corey Perry’s first of two goals 57 seconds after Kane’s goal. To put into perspective how utterly poorly Keith has been playing lately, here’s the text I got from my Dad — who watches the ‘Hawks on and off, but isn’t invested — after Keith’s brain fart:

“Once a game, he falls asleep and costs his team a goal. This time less than a minute after we scored. I’m watching Andy Griffith.”

Can’t say I blame my Pops.

Other than Keith, Kopecky is off the hook after the ‘Hawks snatched the second point in overtime. Boynton was persecuted after his dipshit delay of game penalty cost the ‘Hawks earlier this season, and Kopecky was right in line to get a proverbial curb stomp if the Ducks netted one on the power play.

OK, OK. Yes, there’s some good. Corey Crawford played outstanding and made some key stops on point-blank chances, including a couple great saves in overtime. We’ve discussed Perry’s goal which Keith left Crawford out to dry, and Niklas Hjalmarsson was caught flat-footed as Perry skated right past him on his second goal. Crawford is going to get a couple of starts on the Circus Trip, and I’m hoping he shows more of what he did tonight.

The passing on the winning goal was fantastic, as Brian Campbell’s fake-shot-pass to Keith froze the Ducks on the far side of the ice, leaving Stalberg time to get into position for Keith’s slapper toward the net.

And speaking of the Circus Trip, this is a good time for all these assholes to get themselves some quality time together and quit telling us how it’s taking time to get the locker room acclimated with each other. I’ll be writing up a more detailed preview of the trip and what it’s done for the ‘Hawks the past couple of seasons, but if these guys come back liking each other more even if they go 2-4 I’ll be a happy man.

So, for now, that gigantic elephant with “YOU GUYS SUCK” written on the side of it that we didn’t want to look at anymore has left the locker room. There’s some tough road games coming up, and what a better way to hit the pavement than with a ‘W’ at home.

Without further ado, here’s a happier version of “Boxing.” As always, there’s two separate images — one for the game summary, and one for the actual box score. Click on the images to enlarge.


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Boxing with ‘Hawks/Coyotes, 11/10/10

Well, this officially sucks. It’s not even fun to watch. I pulled the hood over my head a few minutes into the third period. As I type this, the NHL On the Fly crew is calling the Blackhawks “weak.”

That’s actually a very good word to describe this team. They’re avoiding contact, not playing with any physicality, and look like there’s nothing keeping them motivated. Boos showered the ‘Hawks at the end of the second period. And why not? They deserved it.

Beyond that, the Blackhawks lost their seventh home game in regulation. They lost eight all of last season. The entire 2009-10 hockey season, they lost eight. They’re already at seven.

Duncan Keith must have developed an alcohol problem, because he’s playing drunk.  Patrick Kane might as well have not played tonight. It’s really, really painful to watch — and that’s probably because it’s so shocking that we have no idea what to do anymore. These are the defending Stanley Cup champions, and they probably couldn’t even win a Shinny Stick tournament right now.

Without further ado, here’s another depressing edition of “Boxing.” As always, there are two separate images — one for the summary, one for the actual box score. Click on the image to enlarge it.

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