2010-11 Offseason
Tim Calls It: What Does 2011-12 Look Like?
May 25th
The Blackhawks’ off-season has begun, sooner than any of us would want, to be sure. But this is when us erstwhile robo-pundits take off our pants and open up the spreadsheets. Who is coming back? Who is being let go? Who is getting a qualifying offer, and who isn’t? Which free agents are available? Who is trade bait? And which of the farm team wanna-be’s are going to be part of the rookie class of 2011-12?
All of it makes for a worn-out keyboard, angry spouses, and sore… umm, hands…
Fortunately the news for the Chicago Blackhawks is not nearly as apocalyptic as it was last season. We were all still hung over from the Stanley Cup Championship parties when, almost without us noticing, five of our middle-tier players were shipped out of town. We’re not facing that kind of purge this year.
In fact, the real questions coming out of the Blackhawks’ camp have more to do with free agents being re-signed. We’ll get to that very soon. Let’s start with the easy stuff…
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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should
May 12th
Most folks are looking at this latest Patrick Kane incident the wrong way. I’ll try to summarize. Should he be able to live his life? Should he be able to chase every bit of tail in Chicago? Should he be able to drink himself to the ER, get into fights, stiff the cabbie, or strip naked in a limo?
It doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. And as long as he’s an NHL superstar, the point is this: he’s being a fucking idiot and putting his CAREER at risk by doing this shit. Furthermore, he’s risking disappointing Blackhawks fans who expect him to be with the team for another 4 years. Let me explain.
Raising The Bar: Norris Winner Keith Stumbles After Award
May 9th
The Chicago Blackhawks’ defensive “crisis” in the off-season centered around Niklas Hjalmarsson, and the offer sheet dropped on his lap by traitor scum-bag shit-hole Doug Wilson, now GM of the San Jose Sharks. (You’re going to pay, Dougie — Logan Couture’s contract will expire at some point…) But once that was resolved, Blackhawks’ fans settled into the knowledge that they had arguably the best top-four defensive corps in the league, anchored by Norris Trophy winner Duncan Keith.
Oh, how quickly things can change.
The Lesson Learned: See Ya, Marty
May 7th
So you ask your girlfriend to prom, and she hems and haws for a while until right before the dance, then her dad tells you she’ll only go with you if you pay her $2.75 million dollars. So you break up with her right then and there, and she goes off to prom with some other guy, even though he only paid her $2 million and you’re the reigning Prom King. But by this time all of the hot girls are either already have dates or are going to prom at some Russian school. Your previous girlfriend was too much hassle, and you wouldn’t want to go with her anyhow — and besides, her family is moving to Switzerland.
Now what?
Well, your friend from Dallas just broke up with his girlfriend: will she go with you? And more importantly, will she put out?
Get On Your Hossa — PLEASE!
May 6th
Every Blackhawks pundit, journalist and blogger has asked the same question during the playoffs the last two years. In fact, most pundits, journalists and bloggers for the Blackhawks’ opponents have asked the question also. So far, we don’t have an answer.
When is Marian Hossa going to show up?
This would be just a mere curiosity if we were talking about some bottom-six winger two years into a three-year deal at the league minimum salary. But we’re talking about a player with elite talent who just wrapped up the second year of a 12-year contract with the Blackhawks worth over $62 million.
The mere fact that we’re asking the question at all — and in the playoffs no less — is more than troubling; it suggests that we may have bought a horse whose Derby days are behind him. It also makes one think it might be better to find another buyer before the situation gets even worse and the market dries up completely.
One Bright Spot: Brent Seabrook Shines in Contract Year
May 5th
There were very few players on the 2010-11 Blackhawks’ roster to which the word “consistent” could be applied. Fortunately there were at least a few, and fortunately one of them happened to be on the blue line — else who knows how many more games we would have lost.
Rare was the night that Brent Seabrook scored the winning goal, or stopped a breakaway, or dropped the gloves. But game in and game out, there he was, doing his job. Which is more than can be said for about 80% of the roster.













