Earlier this week we reviewed the non-active-play changes tested out at Brendan Shanahan’s GM circle jerk known as “R&D Camp.” Today we look at the proposed changes that will affect play on the ice. Buckle up, people; the stupidity has been flowing fast and furious among the league’s brain trust.
No line changes allowed for offending teams when called for off-sides: One of the most unique things about the game of hockey is the ability for teams to change players on the ice at nearly any time. The imbecile who came up with this rule for icing should have had his eyeballs ripped out with needle-nose pliers, and the same fate should befall the twit who came up with this too. But you know the league: they’ll implement this rule.
Face-off moves to offending team’s zone when called for off-sides: I don’t think this goes far enough, actually. I think that for off-sides calls the face off should be moved inside the crease. In fact, how about one inch in front of the offending team’s goal line. Maybe a half-inch. Oh wait, I’ve got it: off-sides calls result in a penalty shot. They want to increase offense? That will increase offense! They never listen to me, however: but for now, you can expect to see this rule despite it’s obvious shortcomings.
When the injury to Patrick Kane was announced, and surgery was conducted, everyone was all happy and relieved. “Good thing it won’t impact the season!”
I just kept my mouth shut. I knew that the official line was a load of bullshit, but I kept my mouth shut.
So then today…
I was sitting on the dock in Muskoka on Wednesday, sucking on a Labatt’s and watching the kids splash around the lake, when it dawned on me: “Hold it! I’m in Canada! I can watch TSN!!!”
I’d been there four days already. Apparently when I cross the border I lose many important brain cells, even before I start drinking.
One of the things I like most about my parents’ place up north is the 365-days-a-year hockey coverage in the national media. TSN’s SportsCentre (love the spelling) program led with the NHL’s R&D Camp coverage, including a brief round table with three NHL GM’s, to discuss the proposed rules changes that were tested at the camp thus far. I have a feeling that if I had been able to watch the ESPN SportsCenter broadcast that night, they would have led with coverage of whether Chad Ochocinco had shaved his balls that morning, followed by whichever NASCAR driver had a hissy fit at qualifying, and spent exactly zero time on R&D camp.
Man, do I miss my homeland. They have their priorities in order.
The era of the pure goon is dead.
The demise of players that could do nothing but pound opponents into tapioca began, really, when it became apparent that players like Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux were the future of the sport. In came rules to curtail the fisticuffs, along with an increased focus on skill. With rules to further restrict or eliminate the “trap” and “left-wing lock” defensive styles, the players that had gotten by with clutch-and-grab tactics were now actually forced to play the game, move their ass, and win or lose on skill rather than on their ability to diminish the skill of others. Pure goons went on life support.
And finally, following the most recent lockout the front of the net was turned from the war zone it once was to a “Mom-he’s-touching-me” fifth-grade gym class. Now you’re more likely to scuff your nail polish than get a cross-check across the shoulder blades. In other words, the jobs for pure goons with no talent other than the pugilistic arts are now few and far between.
Once upon a time, Patrick Sharp was a seldom-used center for the Ken Hitchcock-led Philadelphia Flyers, toiling to the tune of roughly eight minutes of ice time per night.
After 66 games, 10 goals and five different jersey numbers, then-general manager Bobby Clarke decided Sharp was expendable and started shopping the former third-round draft pick.
Philadelphia seemed set with 21-year-old Jeff Carter, veteran Peter Forsberg, R.J. Umberger, Mike Richards and Michal Handzus at the center position and were determined to add depth at the wing.
Little did Clarke know Sharp possessed enough skill at each position, and on Dec. 5, 2005, Dale Tallon pulled off a steal.
“Patrick is a natural center, not a wing, and we have too many centers,” Hitchcock said. “That’s all this is about. We had too many centers.”
WGN Radio and the big-boy credentialed guys on Twitter are reporting Patrick Sharp has signed a 5-year extension. No money has been thrown around, though Tim Sassone makes the point it likely won’t exceed the $6.3 million cap hit for Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane.
We’ll have more details as the story progresses, but this is an early gift from Stan Bowman as we all pretty much figured this would happen during the season.
UPDATE (12:07 p.m.):
UPDATE (3:36 p.m.):
The press conference has sealed the deal, with Sharp getting a 5-year, $29.5 million contract – a bargain given his versatility and all-around game. There’s much talk about how amazing it is to have 17 players already signed for 2012-13 and one of the best cores in the game locked up for a long period of time, and I agree. However, looking that far ahead is pretty futile given things change at the drop of a hat at times. I will say that it sounds great, but lets get focused on the task at hand: 2011-12.
Despite the lingering question mark about a second line center, and the wisdom of putting a completely unproven goaltender as Corey Crawford’s backup, the one place where there is little left to discuss is on defense.
To start with, there is universal agreement that John Scott’s best position is, in fact, in the press box. Or Rockford. Or Europe. Or the UFC. Or as a Walmart greeter. Anywhere but in a Blackhawks uniform between buzzers.
Wednesday afternoon the word came out on the Twitterscape that the Chicago Blackhawks had reportedly invited veteran goaltender Ray Emery to a tryout with the team at training camp in the fall. There is no contract in place, this will be a tryout only, meaning if the Blackhawks decide to pass it doesn’t cost them anything.
Ray Emery will be approaching his 29th birthday as camp gets underway. He is 6’2″, 196 lbs, and catches left. Drafted 99th overall in 2001 by the Ottawa Senators, he has also spent time with Philadelphia and Anaheim. But his career is a story of stops and starts.
I honestly can’t believe this is my third year doing this. But alas, it will never get old quoting Seinfeld. With the Blackhawks making some significant moves to revamp the team and Patrick Kane being in the news once again, it’s time to let Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine take the reins.
Part I in 2009 featured quotes such as: “Well you know when you break up and say things you don’t mean? Well he says the mean things you don’t mean and he means them,” dedicated to Martin Havlat and his Twitter escapades.
Part II in 2010 brought you: “Have you ever been through an audit? It’s the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination,” referencing the Capocolypse.
Let’s see what’s in store for Part III, with events in no particular order …
I’ve read several pieces in the last 3 weeks singing the praises of Blackhawks General Manager Stan Bowman. Not necessarily with support for his latest moves, but spewing statements like, “There’s a reason he’s GM and you’re not,” and “He’s done a great job so far, we have no reason to doubt him.”
How quickly you forget. I, however, have not.