Bartl

Editor/founder of Cheer the Anthem, season ticket holder in Section 326 and full-time sports writer who lists June 9, 2010, as one of the greatest days of his life. Contact him at jeffrey.bartl@gmail.com.


Posts by Bartl

The Wine Cooler, Presented by Bartl and James – Episode 3: OMG GOALIE CONTROVERSY!

Bartels&Jaymes

 

In Episode 3, Bartl and James talk goalie “controversy,” Dave Bolland pretty much sucking and what Q will do when he returns, plus Bowman’s so-far-solid acquisition of Michal Handzus. We also look ahead to Friday’s tilt with Detroit, which could possibly be a first-round playoff preview – and that bugs the shit out of us.

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Boxing4-1Hawks-3-Preds-2Full

April, Fools: Shootout Boxing with Blackhawks (3) and Predators (2)

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am this good." (Chicago Tribune)

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am this good.” (Chicago Tribune)

As the Blackhawks and Predators were lining up for the third-period faceoff and the ‘Hawks leading 2-0, my buddy Neil leans over to me and says, “All right, let’s not fuck this up.”

The Blackhawks, though, nearly played their own April Fool’s joke on us, blowing the lead on a couple of weak goals before Jonathan Toews and Michal Rozsival (!) went all fuck-this-shit in the shootout to give the ‘Hawks a 3-2 win over Nashville at the UC.

I’m tired, so here’s this stuff before Boxing…

– The first news of the day was on the trade front, as Stan Bowman acquired Michal Handzus – who waived his no-movement clause and agreed to join the Blackhawks – from San Jose for a fourth-round draft pick in order to provide some center depth and win a draw or two. So naturally, Dave Bolland goes out and wins six of the eight draws he takes before getting injured.

Handzus should be able to make his ‘Hawks debut Thursday against the Blues, and we’ll see where Bolland is at at that point. One of the best parts of the trade, though? The ‘Hawks were forced to send Brandon Bollig back to Rockford to make room for Handzus. That in itself is awesome.

– The Corey Crawford haters got a little more ammunition after he allowed a couple of softies in the third period to tie the game. While there’s not doubt he shouldn’t have allowed probably either of those goals, no one can really deny the defenses hung him out like week-old laundry as well. Either way, though, Crow needed to have a better period – but you can also say that about pretty much the entire team.

– Brandon Saad. Patrick Kane. Fuck. And yes.

– So, Q goes with Roszival in the shootout because of how well he’s done in practice. Honestly, that’s pretty damn awesome to pluck a guy, no matter his position or offensive reputation and put him out there in game action during the skills competition. It was a complete surprise, and that could be a good part of the reason the move worked.

And now Boxing. Right-click the image, then click ‘view’ to enlarge…

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Easter Funday: Boxing with Blackhawks (7!) and Red Wings (1, Ha)

Credit: USA Today

Credit: USA Today

Man was that fun. Well, unless you’re a Red Wings fan – meaning you had already gone through life without a soul before Sunday’s beatdown, so maybe you felt no emotion anyway.

For the Blackhawks, elation ensued throughout most of the day as they went into MoTown and penis-slapped Detroit 7-1 in front of a stadium full of people ditching church on Gordie Howe’s 85th birthday “celebration.”

I’m not going to recap each of the seven goals that helped lead to Jimmy holding grudges, but here’s a few things before Boxing …

– HAHAHHAHAHAHA Jakub Kindl HAHAHAHAHA. What a fucking awful play to put the puck in his own net to help Dave Bolland end a 14-game goalless drought. Bolland would go on to score one of his own later, proving he actually does have some sort of worth left in him after dragging his ass up and down the ice and constantly losing draws for most of the season.

– Welcome back to the big club, Jeremy Morin. Scoring on his first shift was a hell of a way to get going donning the Indian head.

– Brandon Saad is the fucking truth, and that’s all there is to it. Jonathan Toews said after the game that Saad is getting better with each shift, and there’s really no better way to say it. Saad for Calder?

– Speaking of Toews … Boom. A goal and two assists, and he won 14 of 19 draws, which is just flat out disgusting. The Captain has won 60.3 percent of his draws this year.

– I CAN’T BELIEF DAT CRAWFORD GUY COULDN’T GET DAT SHUT’EM OUT. DA EMERY GUY COULDA HAD DAT LAST SHOT CUZ HE’S DA WAY BETTER GOALIE MAN AND I TINK HE WINS DA CONTROVERSY WE GOTS A BREWIN’ ‘ROUND HERE CUZ HE STOPS MORE SHOTS AND WINS BETTER DAN DA CRAWFORD GUY WINS.

– So Q decided to switch up the defensive pairings, going with Keith-Hjalmarsson, Oduya-Rozsival and Seabrook-Leddy. Q downplayed the changes by saying he was simply testing things out, but maybe he’s finally have enough of the underachieving Keith-Seabrook pairing to send a message. I’m assuming these won’t be long-term changes, but after the dominating performance Sunday there’s a chance Q sticks with these Monday versus the Preds.

Here’s Boxing. Right-click the image, then click ‘view’ to enlarge…

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Iggymugshot

Iggy: A Morality Play

That’s right, CtA now has a Photoshop/parody guy. We are more than excited to welcome Michael Devine, who will be posting as regularly as he would like on this site and gracing us and you readers with some hilarity.

Firstly, go follow him on Twitter @brightblack76. Then, double-check to make sure you’re following him, because you’re missing out if you’re not. He already has some stuff up here for you to check out when you get the chance.

Michael, who also has gone by mightymikeD, describes himself as such: “Irish, lives in London and goes through horrific sleep-deprivation to watch Hawks games at Ass O’Clock in the Morning!”

And you thought YOU were a die-hard fan.

Have you been wondering how Stan Bowman is “wooing” Jarome Iginla to come to Chicago? Well, without further bullshit, here’s Michael’s first contribution to CtA:

“Iggy: A Morality Play”

Iggymugshot

Scene: Morning. A luxury Chicago hotel room. Jarome Iginla wakes up. He appears to be in the bathtub. His head is pounding and there is a funny taste in his mouth. He groans and looks at his watch, realises, with horror, that he is late for his flight and tries to climb out of the bath.

Iggy: “Oh, heck, Bob’s going to kill me. Without me being there the guys will just be milling around aimlessly in the terminal and Kipper has probably got himself deported!”

He catches sight of himself in the bathroom mirror and freezes in horror.

Iggy: “What in the fudge? Why am I wearing make-up? What are these bruises on my arms? WHY DO I HAVE “PK RULEZ YO” WRITTEN IN LIPSTICK ON MY CHEST??!?”

There is a loud knocking at the door. Iginla hurries to get dressed. His clothes appear to be missing except for his suit pants, although they have been cut off inexpertly at thigh-height, and his tie; which has some odd stains on it.

Iggy: “I’m coming, I’m coming. Oh, fiddlesticks, where is my shirt?”

The knocking continues, louder and more insistent. Iginla gives up and opens the door.
Stan Bowman stands there, smiling strangely.

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Iginla’s Audition?: Boxing with Blackhawks (2) and Flames (0)

Holy Toews Face. (Credit: Chris Sweda,  Chicago Tribune)

Holy Toews Face. (Credit: Chris Sweda, Chicago Tribune)

The worst-kept secret in the NHL is that Jarome Iginla has submitted a list of teams he’d be willing to waive his no-trade clause for by the April 3rd trade deadline, and the Blackhawks are one of them.

While Iginla didn’t exactly shine in Tuesday’s visit to the United Center with his awful team, count me in as someone willing to part ways with a couple of second-tier prospects and a pick to bring him to Chicago as a rental. The main reasons? Dave Bolland is beginning to infuriate me, and the thought of Iginla in a Hawks sweater gets me more excited than a 13-year-old boy seeing his first set of tits. He’s got plenty left in the tank.

The Blackhawks ended their two-game “losing streak” by holding woeful Calgary to just 16 shots in a 2-0 victory, making an easy night for Ray Emery as he set an NHL record by winning his first 12 starts of the season. Miikka Kiprusoff helped out by allowing Nick Leddy’s weak shot slip through before a Brent Seabrook shot was deflected off Iginla’s stick for the other goal.

Patrick Kane assisted on each score and played another stellar contest. If not for a guy named Crosby, the Hart Trophy likely would be coming to Chicago for the first time since Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita each won back-to-back awards from 1964-68.

A couple quick thoughts before Boxing…

– Seriously, what in the flying fuck is going on with Bolland? I am going to admit that I’ve never been his biggest fan and always felt he was a bit overrated. But man, he’s just not getting it done. Besides being ridiculously injury prone at the age of 26 (he’s missed seven games this season, six the year before, 21 in 2010-11 and 42 in the Stanley Cup season), he’s a second-line center who can’t win a fucking draw to save his life. Bolland went 8 for 22 at the dot Tuesday, dropping him to 44.6 percent on the season. He needs to get his shit together, and quickly, because his awful percentage at the dot is keeping the puck off of Kane’s stick.

– Only in Chicago would meatballs begin thinking there’s a goaltender controversy. I saw posts on social media to the tune of, “WHYS DAT EMERY GUY NOT DA FULL-TIME SHARTER IN THE DA NET FOR DEM HOCKS? DAT CRAWFORD LET IN GOALS DE UDDER NIGHT AND EMERY DIDN’T LET ANY GO IN DA NET SO HE SHOULD ALWAYS BE IN DA NET. CRAWFORD SUCKS, MY FRENTS!” Crawford has a 2.02 GAA and .922 save percentage, while Emery sports numbers of 2.09 and .920. What the fuck is wrong with simply having two goaltenders who are both playing fantastically? Just shut the fuck up and appreciate it. Thank you.

Right, Boxing. Right-click the image and click ‘view’ to enlarge…

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The Wine Cooler, Presented by Bartl and James: Episode 2 – Gettin’ Iggy with It

Bartels&Jaymes

Nakis and I give you plenty of Jarome Iginla trade discussion as well as a brief look ahead to Monday’s tilt with the Los Angeles Kings at the United Center. Mainly Iginla talk, though. Like, a lot.

30 minutes. Aaaaand go …

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Bye, Bye, Bye: Shootout Boxing with Blackhawks (2) and Blue Jackets (1)

Credit: Paul Vernon, AP

Credit: Paul Vernon, AP

At least the Central Division “rivalry” with the Blue Jackets ended in style.

Johnny Oduya scored his first goal of the season on a sick pass from Patrick Kane before Jonathan Toews and Kane scored in the shootout to give the Blackhawks a 2-1 win to kick off their four-game road trip.

Kaner also notched his 400th career point with the assist in his 426th career game.

Thursday marked the final time the ‘Hawks and BJs would meet as division foes due to the realignment that will send Columbus to the Eastern Conference beginning next season. And the Jackets gave the ‘Hawks all they could handle in the four meetings. Each were decided by one goal, with two going past regulation.

And who knows? Maybe that won’t be the last time the Blackhawks see Columbus this season after all. The BJs are making a push for the playoffs after earning a point in their ninth straight game.

They didn’t have enough, though, to get past the ‘Hawks (22-2-3), who had dropped their previous two games following The Streak. It’s late so I’ll just leave you with this before Boxing: One concern? The Blackhawks’ penalty kill has allowed six power play goals in 10 chances over their last three games after giving up another one to Columbus.

Otherwise, Boxing has some more positive stuff. Right-click the image, then click ‘view’ to enlarge…

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And So It Continues: Dramatic Boxing with Blackhawks (3) and Avalanche (2)

"I AM GORILLA SALAD!!!!" (Credit: Chris Sweda,  Chicago Tribune)

“I AM GORILLA SALAD!!!!” (Credit: Chris Sweda, Chicago Tribune)

Marian Hossa is out. You’re in the midst of an extended stretch without Patrick Sharp and Andrew Shaw due to in-game injuries. Who are you going to turn to for some late-game heroics?

Of course you’re going to go with… Gorilla Salad?!

Yep, Dan Carcillo became the 13th different Blackhawk to score a game-winning goal when he slipped one into the net with 49.3 seconds remaining to give the ‘Hawks a 3-2 come-from-behind victory over Colorado on Wednesday night that UC.

The Streak is now at 24 – Jesus H. Christ, they’re fucking 21-0-3 and haven’t been beaten in actual hockey halfway through the season – and the streak within The Streak is at 11 straight wins.

Shit, even LeBron James is taking notice:

LeBron-Tweet

Quickly before Boxing…

– While Q was optimistic regarding Hossa and Shaw following the game, it seems a near certainty that Sharp will be out at least a few games after taking a hard hit into the boards. The ‘Hawks already have dealt with Brent Seabrook and Dave Bolland missing time, and now Q will have to adjust his lines for at least the near future.

The Bryan Bickell-Andrew Shaw-Viktor Stalberg third line has been fantastic, but there’s a chance Stalberg will be bumped up to play with Bolland and Patrick Kane with Sharp being out. We’ll know more once the call-up is announced – Ben Smith? Jeremy Morin? Jimmy Hayes? – but then again it’s Q, so who really knows what to expect? Gorilla Salad may start in goal for all we know.

– Speaking of Carcillo, he mentioned after the game how he’d “like to be more than just an enforcer on this team.” Hey buddy, thanks for the late goal and the two points and all that jazz, but we’re still not overlooking the fact that you’re, well, not good at hockey. You are what you are, and that’s a below-average player who should spend most of his time in the press box making some expensive suit look as stylish as footy pajamas. Enjoy the moment while it lasts.

– Ray Emery did not have his best game tonight, but who the fuck really cares at the point. He allowed only two goals – again, for Christ’s sake – and set an NHL record by winning each of his first 10 starts to begin a season. His post-to-post movement is suspect, but that’s nothing new. He’s getting the job done when his number is called.

– Thanks, Jamie McGinn, for deciding to try and box out Bolland after you lost your stick rather than attempting to stop a determined Jonathan Toews on his way to a short-handed goal. Yeah, that wasn’t smart.

We get to see the Avs again at their place on Friday night, and Adam will be along with your wrap for that one. For now, here’s Boxing.

Right-click the image, then click ‘view’ to enlarge…

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Streakin’ Gone Wild: Boxing with Blackhawks (5) and Wild (3)

Credit: Brian Cassella, Chicago Tribune

Credit: Brian Cassella, Chicago Tribune

“I’m running out of words to say here. I don’t know how many ways I can describe this 10-game winning streak. It’s exciting. We’re having fun.” – Jonathan Toews

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

The Streak hit 23 games – how awesome is it to see 20-0-3?! – and the streak within The Streak hit a franchise-record 10 straight victories with Tuesday’s 5-3 win over Minnesota. Are there enough positive adjectives to describe this run? I think everyone is running out of them.

And how fitting is it Marian Hossa scored on the night the ‘Hawks honored him for playing in his 1,000th career game Sunday?

(Quick note on that: Here’s where I have issues with the separation between the regular season and playoff statistics. Hossa also has played in 130 postseason games, which weren’t taken into account. If he played a game in the NHL, he played a game in the NHL. I think all of them should be recognized. Just my opinion.)

Some quick thoughts before Boxing…

– The third line guys – Bryan Bickell, Andrew Shaw and Viktor Stalberg – came through again. Bickell scored twice, though one came with Brandon Saad delivering the pass you see in the picture above. Bickell’s first goal had him being in the perfect place at the right time, with Shaw and Stalberg picking up assists.

– Brandon Saad. That is all.

– Patrick Kane came through with another clutch goal, scoring on one of the only four shots the Blackhawks had in the third period. And to that point…

– The whole let’s-sit-back-and-just-ride-this-thing-out mentality when the ‘Hawks get a lead of two goals or more nearly came back and bit them in the ass for the fifth time this season. If there’s one thing to change when it comes to this team, it’s that.

The Blackhawks are so successful because of their puck position and the aggressiveness that comes with it. That’s where their talent shines. However, when they decide to sit back and let the game come to them, things nearly unravel. Here’s a quick snippet of the other times that’s happened this season:

Opponents-Comebacks

Solution? Stay aggressive. Role the lines until the final horn sounds and keep attacking. The Blackhawks are being outscored 19-18 in the third period this season.

The rest is in Boxing. Right-click on the image, then click ‘view’ to enlarge…

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