Photo credit: Bill Smith, NHL.com

Well, that was certainly fun.

After 20 minutes of play tonight you pretty much knew where this was going. Three goals, one on the man advantage, and Patrick Sharp was just one goal away from a hattie on his birthday. He completed the trick barely 30 seconds into the 2nd period and the Hawks never let up the remainder of the way. Fuck, Michal Handzus scored a goal tonight because Patrick Kane put up a point in his 13th straight. Whitewashing. By the end, I’d run out of words to describe the thing.

Oh, and this happened.


Just bookmark the NHL.com score page for this one because there’s four or five goals you’re just going to want to make sure you have a direct link to all season long. Some highlight saves from Raanta, too. The absurd Extra Skater numbers can be found here.

  • Patrick Sharp might not make Team Canahahahahahahahahaha.
  • Patrick Roy, the guy who quit the Habs because he felt they embarrassed him, left his goalie out there for seven goals tonight and a bloody lip. That irony could only taste better with duck sauce.
  • Penalty kill did its job tonight, so that’s nice.
  • As for the advanced metrics, some of the highlights were the Hjalmarsson-Oduya pairing being better than a +30 in CORSI combined, Chicago dominating and controlling the play to the tune of 7 in every 10 chances being theirs, and how about Kris Versteeg being a +14? Three of every four pucks directed towards the net while Ryan O’Reilly was on the ice were by a red sweater, too.
  • If you’re wondering about the title of the ‘cap, I had a Simpsons thing going tonight for some reason and the Blackhawks resemble this as of late. Just running roughshod on clubs.
  • This is the 16th time the Blackhawks have scored five goals or more this season. It was their 40th game of the season. That’s at least 80 goals. The Sabres have 69 goals in 38 games this year. And John Scott is now the scorer of one of them!
  • Is it even possible to tally 5v5-close advanced stats in a game like this because it was close for about never.
  • If the Blackhawks play a better game than they did against Colorado tonight, they’ll score 10 goals. It’s just not going to happen. This was the most complete destruction of a team I’ve seen in a long time. It’s actually harder to write these recaps than any other because what more can you say about games like this?

Bring on the Blues.