Scott Strazzante/Chicago Tribune)

Scott Strazzante/Chicago Tribune)

Welp, Philadelphia sure got Phucked.

Trailing 1-0 after 20, the Blackhawks dominated the final 40 and ran away with a 7-2 victory over the Flyers on Wednesday night that had a good portion of the United Center faithful leaving early to beat the traffic.

What they saw before heading out into the penis-shrinking frigid temperatures was a beatdown perfectly suited for an embarrassment of a Philadelphia squad. Seven goals by seven different Blackhawks. They’ve scored 19 goals during their three-game winning streak, making it look so easy that Jonathan Toews literally has goals coming out of his ass.

Our friend Brandon Spinner points out that the ‘Hawks haven’t scored at least six goals in three straight games since Jan. 21-24, 1993.

Quickly here…

– The ‘Hawks have six players with at least 10 goals. Six. Andrew Shaw got into double digits with his wrap-around tally past Rey M. Murray. Shaw is Chicago’s third-line center. He has 10 goals. You know how many Flyers have 10 goals? Hint: It equals the same amount of Stanley Cups they’ve won over the last 36 seasons.

Patrick Kane had two assists, bringing him to within one point of Sidney Crosby for the NHL lead. He has a point in 19 of his last 20 games, yet that didn’t stop the guy in Sec. 326, Row 13, Seat 11 from saying shit like this all night: DAT KANE, WHYS HE ALWAYS LOOKIN FER DA PASS? HE’S NOT DOIN NUTTIN. GOTS NO SPEED. SUMFFINS WRONG WIT DAT KANE GUY TONIGHT. HE DONT LOOK NO GOOD. I hope you’re reading this, too. Moron.

Patrick Sharp had a goal and two assists, making the handsome one officially on fire. Four goals and four assists during the winning streak. Remember when he used to play for the Flyers? And they gave him to the Blackhawks because they had too many centers and has flourished as a wing? And even played center on the 2010 Cup team at times? Hahahaha. I like that story.

– So, the penalty kill was meh, and the power-play unit gave up a pair of short-handed breakaways. But Antti Raanta was all over those, and he played a pretty solid net overall – especially given he played last night against Dallas. This two-day break should suit him well. Oh, and the ridiculous scoring output is sure helping ease his transition to holding down the fort in Crawford’s absence.

– Nice little tribute welcoming back Emery. He must’ve really missed hearing Chelsea Dagger.

Here’s Boxing. The other idiots will be here with you Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday, as I’m going to be doing plenty of drinking during an extended birthday weekend. You’ll hear me with Adam and Jim on Cheer the Podcast early next week, though.

Boxing 12-10-13 Flyers